Greenbean passed this morning.

I haven’t been able to rationalize my way out of feeling miserable today.  I can’t even explain how she came to mean so much to me, but I know my mom understands.  Ten years ago, I welcomed her (with some reservations…. I didn’t even like cats) into my home when Deb moved in.  In no time at all I found I had a new best friend.  My mom somewhat hesitantly did the same when we moved to England.   It shouldn’t have been surprised that my mom fell for her too.   I thought we might be fighting her for custody when we returned.

Greenbean had a presence.  It didn’t matter if she was snoozing in another room, probably cuddled up in my clean laundry basket…  you knew she was there.  The house just felt more comfortable with her in it.  And when she met me at the door, or interrupted me at the computer, or offered her belly to me for scratching I had the rare pleasure of a few moments mental peace and a feeling of sincere warmth and friendship.  Over ten years this was never offset by anything negative.

I should feel lucky… but not today.